10 Things I Will Teach my Daughter

This is a little off topic from what I normally talk about but I recently read an article and it touched home for me. What was even more unsettling than the actual story were the majority of the comments on the post. It lead me to realize that nothing much is going to change until we teach our youth otherwise.

The story was about one particular school’s regulations for Prom dresses. The school’s administration decided that all female students were to bring a picture of their chosen prom dress for approval prior to the dance. The regulations were tight on this. Even a dress that looked sheer but actually wasn’t, was unacceptable. No cleavage of any kind was allowed and the dresses had to be long.

The comments of this post included many saying: “if you don’t like it, don’t go to Prom,” “good, glad they are taking measures to teach these girls what’s appropriate, it’s a school dance, not a whorefest.”

This isn’t something new, we continue to teach our young ladies that our natural bodies are taboo. That what happens to us on a monthly basis is taboo and undesirable. That if we dress a certain way, we are welcoming male attention. Well I just do not agree with that.

♥ 1. You’re body is not an object – Let no man or woman tell you otherwise. Your body is beautiful and it belongs to you, no one else. It is not a sexual object.

♥ 2. You’re not a whore – Whore is a word that people throw around way too much. You’re a whore if you have had too many partners, you’re a whore if you love your body, you’re a whore to someone who doesn’t like you, you’re a whore if you dress provocatively. Well, I’m here to tell you, you aren’t. None of those things make you a whore.

♥ 3. Never place value on yourself based on your appearance – This is something that takes many women years to understand. Much like men are not judged on their natural looks in the world, neither should you.

♥ 4. Never compare yourself to other women – This one is difficult to do sometimes. When you see a woman that you believe is beautiful, it’s ok to admire that about her, not compete with her.

♥ 5. Getting older is not the end – As women, sometimes we believe that as we get older, we become less attractive. This can sometimes lead us to believe that we are less valuable to our men. Aging is natural, things will not always be so perky (if you know what I mean 😉 ) This doesn’t mean that you are less beautiful in any way.

♥ 6. You’re not a bitch for voicing your opinion – Sometimes people mistaken honesty with hostility. Just remember that your voice is just as important as anyone else’s.

♥ 7. Don’t play with double standards – If you want to be treated equally to everyone else, you need to play the part. You need to work hard, be diligent and never settle. Likewise, never let your man tell you that something isn’t acceptable for you, when it clearly is for them.

♥ 8. Don’t be so quick to judge – When you see a woman breastfeeding her child and you might think it’s gross, just remember that she is feeding her baby and it’s a pain to be stuck at home all the time. Likewise, she might be feeling uncomfortable about it as well, you don’t need to encourage this. When I was younger, I remember seeing a prostitute and thinking that she was disgusting, not because she wasn’t well kept, but because of what she does. Don’t judge another woman, you’ve never walked in those shoes.

♥ 9. Sometimes, it is your fault – When you’re arguing with someone and you are dead-set that you are not to blame, just remember, sometimes you are. It’s ok to admit that.

♥ 10. Nothing about you’re body is disgusting or shameful – Whenever women are on their periods, we feel a natural urge to keep this information incredibly private. We don’t want anyone to think we are “icky.” Well stop, the earth is populated because of a woman’s fertility.

Once you have children, your body will change. It’s inevitable, your skin will sag around your stomach, things will stretch and leave you with nice “tiger stripes.” This isn’t shameful, it’s life. Life is beautiful.